It’s difficult to think of situations in which it’s okay to use crushed velvet in one’s life. I can’t think of any because there are none. And so it goes without saying that there is really no excuse for THIS much crushed red velvet. Red velvet bedding, red velvet pillows, red velvet swag lamp (!!!)…the sombrero is also probably made of red velvet. And don’t get me started on the 80′s glamor mirror or that brass, umm, fixture (?).
via curbed
via Curbed
Drab, dull and boring doesn’t even begin to cover it. Is there a reason the refrigerator has been plaid-bombed? And why is boring, old beige the go-to for apartment units? You would think for $3000 a month — it is in Manhattan, I know — the landlords would have at least given this ugly kitchen a fresh coat of white paint. Is that too much to ask?
via curbed
You can view more of this monstrously boring kitchen over at Curbed.
…well sort of.
I saw the following listing on Curbed, and my immediate gut reaction was “Ewww” and “Luann De Lesseps was right, ‘Money can’t buy you class.’” This space is terribly gaudy, chintzy, jacquard-y, and overall, it’s just tacky. It’s much too much and a lot for the eyes to take in all at once.
via curbed
That said, the rest of this $72 million (!) home is actually tastefully decorated. Luxurious, but not too much.
Take a look at the foyer, for example: it’s gorgeous!
via streeteasy
Shame about that sitting room, though. This place could have been great.
Curbed, via Streeteasy
Quel horreur! Another chair covered in plastic? This is a “trend” that needs to die right alongside the gold jacquard upholstery. And I don’t know if that’s the worst part: the Bob Ross triptych (or the one on the floor, for that matter), or the dingy carpet…
.jpeg "Curbed.com")
via curbed
And why is the television on the floor? Come on guys, do better.
via Curbed.
How fitting that this terrible listing of a huge mansion in Miami would appear so near the Memorial Weekend Holiday. If any of you are heading out towards South Beach, pelt some tomatoes at this home for this gaudy, 18th century mess. Many thanks!
hot mess
via Curbed Miami
P.S.
You know what would make us all feel better? More classy Instagram pictures of lovely MCM pieces. If you want to get your hands on a great replica from RexKelly.com, enter my “Instragram + MCM Rex” Contest. The winner will receive a $100 gift certificate!
What better way to spend your Hump Day, aka Wednesday, than staring at the pink plastic mess that is this living room. How do people sit on those plastic chairs these days anyway? It’s hot and they always make such weird noises that you cannot blame on the dog.
via Curbed
You’re welcome!
via Curbed
It’s not a taxidermy hippo. It’s a bronze hippo. For your dining room. Because nothing says “Dinner Time,” like a Hungry Bronze Hippo.
Bronze Hippo Dining Table
Also in the collection, by Mark Stoddart, are lions, and rhinos and a dog (oh my).
via Freshome.
Just as I was thinking I had not seen a garishly decorated apartment in a while, one bad enough to make me go “Ewww,” I get this $78 million monstrosity in an email. It’s like the Internets was reading my mind.
As Countess Luann once crooned, “Money can’t buy you class.” Apparently, it can’t buy you any taste or a sense of style either.
via the pursuitist
Thanks to Brandy @ Mid-Century Modern Love for pointing this out!
This home in Philadelphia is just the worst. Fake pink flowers, dolls, chintzy gold cover on the dining room table. Ewwww.
image via curbed
It gets worse. More photos via Curbed.
